|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Sooo my truck is broken again. AGAIN. I've had a few people look at it and they say its the starter but one person actually went underneath is and said first, I have something leaking, possibly transmission when I just paid $400 to have the transmission cooler replaced because it was leaking. He also said that it could be my battery because its from 2007. Now my truck turns on and plays music and whatever whatever but he said it could not be powerful enough to run the starter. ALSO, other folks agree on the starter but I need to get my alternator tested too, just to be sure. AND, I need all four new tires because mine are literally about to blow out. Mom said when she gets her check (oh and she moved by the way) she will take care of the tires. I feel really bad about this, she's got this new life and I just consume her money. But to be fair, she got me a broke ass truck instead of a reliable car. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful and I LOVE my truck but I may as well ask my boss to start writing my checks out to Auto Zone. >.< At least I only work three miles away, which is a blessing and a curse. This job is going to make me a damn athlete. Today I may have scored a ride, Lizard's momma's friend has a meeting at the lake across from my work like 30mins before I go in. Which means I can get a small lunch and then go to work. This is good because I haven't eaten since yesterday and it was only a few bites of Bisquick's Impossibly Easy Cheeseburger Pie. I'm probably not going to be able to get a ride home though. Since its Monday and I've been having a rough time with my mom moving and my truck not working all the time... I'm going to try RIGHT NOW to have a positive outlook (even if I have already tried) and just focus on the task at hand while planning for the near future. So here is the plan. When I'm done with this I'm going to call the garage that fixed my truck and ask what they can do for me if I still have the same problem. Then I'm going to go to work one way or another. All week. I can't afford to miss a day, I need that money. At my mom's old house I'll have a $30 babysitting check waiting for me that I can't get to until I can drive there because that's just entirely too far to walk. I'm going to call my step dad and see if he can please buy cat chow since I have failed. I was supposed to do that yesterday and come by to feed my kitties. I can pay him back as soon as my truck is fixed and a little extra for just being there with them. Also waiting for me there will be four new shirts I ordered last week before my truck died. I bought them because they were $10 and get one at $1 and they are gorgeous and I work at a dry cleaners with no air conditioning and I also live with no air conditioning. This is Florida mind you, and you CAN die from heat stroke. I drink a lot of water though, and step outside when I can. So I justify my shopping by saying its an investment in my work, if I can be cooler while I work I can work harder and longer and be a little more motivated. I haven't had new clothes in forever and this is necessary, my old tanks are falling apart. Besides, including shipping, I only spent like $30. Not bad at all considering these shirts are freaking awesome. I got four different colors too :) And as soon as my truck is fixed I'm going to start applying at the TCBY ice cream shop that is within very reasonable walking distance just in case. I'm also going to put at least $10 in my bank account to save, I have been doing that lately. Last check I put in like $50 though, that's how I bought the shirts, I probably have maaaaybe $15-$20 left but hey, its a start and I put myself ahead with it last time, so I'm not behind in my savings. The babysitting check I'm tempted to save, but I'm also tempted to do something fun with it since life has been so stressful. Besides, I probably won't spend the entire thing, maybe save $10 and use $20 to take me and Lizard to dinner or something. I just have to make it to Friday and try to care for my kitties from afar. My poor babies, they probably wonder every day what they did wrong, but they didn't and I love them so much, I always make sure to give them a lot of attention and lovinz when I can make it by, and overfill their food dishes just in case. Hopefully this paycheck I can get my truck fixed to the point it will run, then my mom will send money for tires hopefully before they blow out and I'm stranded again, and I can try to get in front of my truck's problems and fix them before they leave my truck curb side again. By the time I'm able to move out I will have probably re-built my freaking truck. Need to test the battery and alternator and fix accordingly, belts need looked at as they are squeaking and squealing, tires need replaced (sure as fuck getting them aligned when that happens), oil change (again, already?!) on the 27th or around there, for three months I've had like six lights out, various reverse, brake and blinker lights that need replaced, and whatever the hell is leaking. Wish me luck... well not so much luck, how about patience. That's what I need. Patience.
| | |
| As usual I just checked my Xanga after like a year of not checking it.
A lot has changed. You will note in my last blog it ended with 'tripping isn't for me'.
Well, that is certainly not the case anymore. Tripping IS for me and it's amazing and I love it and I've learned so many things while toeing the line between trip & real. It's awesome.
Hallucinogens have become my thing. Ohyes.
| | |
| My 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend was yesterday. We're broke so it wasn't extravagant or anything, but we still had a good time. We went to the animal shelter (what we call the zoo) to pet some cats and dogs, there is really nothing else to do in this town, LOL. Then we got some lunch from Walmart's deli, and it was yummy.
Marijuana is usually involved in our daily lives and especially on 420, it being Bob Marley's birthday and all, but surprisingly, we only smoked one blunt (out of the like 12 we bought). I didn't even have half of it. Why? That brings me to our next M.
Mushrooms. Good God. I tried some shrooms yesterday for the first time. For an hour or so, we laid down and watched the Colbert Report and the Daily Show. First of all, let me tell you I don't remember anything from those shows but I remember that they were incredibly hilarious. Then I had my boyfriend search up a little animation I enjoy, called Drinking out of cups. It can be found on Youtube by searching up the title, it's just some useless lizard but he makes me laugh. Well yesterday, he made me laugh until I cried. That is what set me over the edge. I started laughing and crying really hard and couldn't stop even after the video was over. I rolled over and was like, "Okay... I'm just going to look at the cat for a while." Because she is safe to look at. She doesn't do many funny things, she'll just sit there and be peaceful. But I couldn't stop. I was really crying, like big tears, but laughing all the while and I felt completely nuts. Then, I felt drunk. I felt like I had been out all night drinking. I walked out to the kitchen to see how my boyfriend and his brother were doing because they took much more than I did (only a gram). I still couldn't stop laughing and mumbling and crying and then I realized... I couldn't walk. I had to hold onto the wall and I started walking back to the bedroom and I yell, "OMG, I pull to the right!" and the guys started laughing their asses off. After that, I started having cramps (it's fantastic being a lady, NOT) and I felt like I had the flu. I kept telling myself, it's just the shrooms mixed with my cramps, it's okay, nobody is sick and I'll be just fine in a few hours. I laid in bed under the covers feeling perfectly wretched and my boyfriend comes in and he's trying to relax me by turning on music and stuff but for some reason it made it worse. I couldn't be near him, I couldn't talk to him, I had to run to the bathroom and hide in there with the light off. It felt like every normal thought I had would hit me in the face and run away, over and over and over and over until I felt like I was losing my mind. I knew of course that I would be okay in a few hours, and that knowledge alone must have kept me from panicking completely, which is good because I was already in bad shape. I couldn't stop thinking, just normal thoughts that everyone might have, they were just coming too fast. Then, I noticed it was really hard to breathe. It felt like every breath I took was labored and it makes sense because I have asthma but even when smoking I don't breathe like that. After about 30 minutes to an hour I came down a little after the peak and was able to not feel sick anymore. That was nice. But then I scared myself. I'm a dark-ish person, I guess. I always have been, but I like it that way. I'm super mellow but I can't imagine myself all bright and preppy. I'm just... dark. I think dark things. I always knew you know, perhaps I consider death a little too much, but it's tough, I've been surrounded by it. I was like omg, of course I'm out of my mind, it's terrifying in there! LOL.
Moral of the story? Shrooms are not for everyone and certainly not for me. I'm NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER doing shrooms again and certainly not acid. I look at my boyfriend who took 3 grams (two more than me) and it fine and I'm like... you're insane. Maybe he's not as dark as I am on the inside and maybe that's why he can have a good trip... but I think things I shouldn't I guess. While tripping, I had plenty of ways of describing it. I said that I felt like a volcano, because my cramps were like making my stomach churn and I felt like it was going to implode. Then I said I felt like a storm with all the crazy thunder and lightning and chaos. Had I actually hallucinated I think I would have lost it completely. I was desperately clinging to reality. But one thing is for sure. Unless you enjoy being completely scared out of your mind, you like rollercoasters, theme parks... that kind of thing... don't do shrooms. My boyfriend deeply enjoys roller coasters. I don't. That is exactly what shrooms feel like, a drunken roller coaster. If you're curious, drink a 12 pack in the span of just a few minutes and have someone spin you around 50 times and watch you go. Clearly, I was made for maryjane and not for hallucinogens. I don't even like drinking more than two beers. I start getting tipsy and the room will lean on me, and even that is too much. I feel sort of crappy that I can't party as hard as everyone else, but hey man, I feel just fine smoking some ganja and chilling out all night.
Right now though, like 12 hours after I came down... I don't even want to smoke. I want to be in my right mind for a little bit. I'm enjoying reality right now, lol.
Tripping just isn't for me.
| | |
| omg. there is something to be said for toking a bowl by yourself and listening to your ipod on shuffle with the black light on. i haven't felt this good in a while. <3
| | |
| Outside my house is a rainforest in the middle of suburbia.
The ground is uneven from the tree roots that run across the yard like rivers.
Meaningless green plants are scattered around, some leafy, some perhaps poisonous. Two cardinals chase each other and flit about, but all you can see is a red blur, might as well be an exotic parrot.
The tree trunks are thick, plentiful, and covered in green moss. There are many branches full of leaves, the whole top half of the rainforest dome is green and made up of leaves on the branches of trees, and in between branches there are areas where you can see through to the sky, which is very blue.
The colors are all bright and rich and real. Greens and browns, blues and reds.
| | |
|
